Small Things Do Matter

Its been a long time since I wrote a blog.So, here I am again writing something irrelevant as usual.I am just thinking what life really would be if we all start living life according to our plans.But obviously its not possible because our plans are made according to what we are supposed to do and that according to me is the worst driving factor one should have.Instead we should be doing what we love to do.It is always advised to do what one actually enjoy,but how many of us actually do so.
I for example always wanted to do something crazy,stupid,something which don't make sense at all like to whistle in the cinema hall(I can't because I am a girl blah blah blah.....),to sit in a middle of road at midnight and watch stars shining bright in d vast blue sky,or to get out of d hostel after closing hours and have fun with my friends and much more.
All these things seems little but the joy they can give no other thing can.The shivering which you feel while doing this is the best feeling in world.But, in spite of all those things we choose to follow the path of regrets,grievances,sufferings and sorrow which we bear for whole of our life and don't let anyone enter this firewall of our feelings to be breached by anyone other than ourselves(or sometimes not even ourselves).
What I wanted is someday on a beautiful sunny morning i wake up and will do everything I love to do, even if it is the most unimportant thing to do.I want to live everyday of my life as if I am in love with life with no regrets by my side to pain me.
And all this needed courage, to take risk of being different from others(not really),while I am still in search of it inside me.

Effect atleast a life

There are so many people around you.....every day,every second whom you even wouldn't notice.Passing you by.Talking,gossiping,laughing,having fun. But their are few among them who are feeling sad,guilty,broken,crushed. They either just needed a word of consolation,sympathy,support or somebody to hear them.It's just not easy to let somebody in.To let somebody know you so well....even better than you.It just needs lot more than courage to let somebody hurt you to cause you an irrepairable pain.I just sometimes wanted to tell my friends how i feel,to share what they meant for me.Its really hard to show that you love them more than anything else in this world and you would do anything to have them.I think if you will be able to do so...to let someone know who you really are,it may change their lives.We in our lifetime effect may lives,but main point is in what way we are effecting their lives.Is it for good or you are making it worse.either way you effecting them and it is easy to only effect their lives, but it takes a lot of pain,courage,a big heart and most important forgiveness to make them realize that even they won't matter to the world but they matter to you.To let a person know that he or she is worth fighting for let them realize that you are always going to be their for them.You are surrounded by friends,family,love,laughter....but all of this only matters when you matters to them.And the only way to do this is just open your heart in front of them, let them in,let them know you,understand you and make them feel what you really feel for them.Its the only way.......and do this before its too late.
I don't know when I will be able to do this..........I am working on it.But best of luck to all of you out there.Hope you all find it worth reading and finally worth trying it for.

SOMEONE......

SOMEONE.......a word....which effects your life in every possible way.Someone....the one,someone.....always yours,someone.....hurts,someone......leaves,someone......reliable........or in short a word giving meaning to your existence.
It is hard to believe that their is a person who can make you so vulnerable to life(or to death may be),such that "IT"(its better this way) can control your life.Knows so much about you that 'it' is better to stay away rather than going closer(which obviously we all do).
At some point of time,it all feels so perfect.Its like,life actually giving you more than what you want.That their is someone who thinks about you,care about you....loves you.Their is 'it',who can make you feel beautiful even though you look creepy,comes to you in times you needed 'it' the most,gives you all the reasons in the world to trust it,to tell you how 'it' feels about you every time you are having a single doubt in your mind about going further with 'it'.
You are enjoying every moment of your life with 'it'......whether it is getting wet in the rain,talking your heart out without thinking of consequences of what advantage 'it' is going to take,sitting alone with 'it' in a starry night...doing nothing and feeling the beauty that how much you enjoy even the silence with 'it',taking a long walk....barefoot.....on the road.....just talking nonsense.........discussing topics you never been interested in....just to keep 'it' talking to you, and all this just because you think that this 'it' can be your someone.
But I guess you are wrong from the beginning. This 'it' can never be the one whom you are searching for all this time and fooling yourself by letting you believe that may be this is the last mistake 'it' did.But at last you know,none of those mistakes were last.Those mistakes were just the beginning of few others.......and this never ends,until you realized that the only way to end up all this is to end up your search for that someone in 'it'.
So bloggers....if by chance any of you are reading this,just wanted to say......all the things i have written above are true.....but that doesn't stop us from keep searching our someone,because 'it' is out their somewhere,waiting for you to show up and reach to 'it' and make 'it' feel that it is really not 'it'...but 'it' is actually someone......your SOMEONE.

wanna scream

I don't know in what state of mind am I right now.....but whatever it is, it just consumed all of me.My power,my strength,my confidence.....everything and every bit of it.I don't have a single ray of hope left in my life.....just wanna scream, and scream,and scream..........and scream.Just want to get away from all of this happening to me.........why me only. I know there are lots of people out their who r suffering more than me...but why only me among all others I know actually deserve to be sad.I don't know why I am being so selfish,so mean....but that is what I am feeling right now.
Just want to go to my best friend and spill it all out.It is all piling up in my mind and I can't take it any more.I am going to burst with all this pain.Just want to see my parents happy.Don't they deserve to be happy.....and when there is chance that I may fulfill their dreams,I am not able to find the way out of the place I am stuck in.
Want to do everything for them.....for me.Everything possible in this world to see them smiling.I suppose not every dream is meant to be fulfilled....not every heart finds what it seeks.....not every eye sees the world the way they wanted it to be......not every moment needs to be your best......That's what I call Broken Dreams.