Thursday, September 3, 2009

PAIN

It hurts. It hurts a lot. It hurts because of not having someone who would care for you as no other person and what you probably truly deserve. It hurts from the thought of being afraid of doing an arrange marriage. It hurts when you see two people so in love with each other and you will be reminded of that you are still alone. Still devoided of the feelings they are experiencing. Or when you are with a couple who cares for you but then again not paying attention to you as they need to be with each other.
It hurts when you loose someone without knowing what could have been if you would have told them about how you feel. It hurts to see yourself so desperate for that someone special that you start seeing yourself in every other individual in your surrounding. It hurts not to be noticed, not to be recognised. And it even hurts more when you are not able to sumup enough guts to go to someone and talk to them, just normally,even when you wanted to so badly.
I don’t know how to relieve this pain. Whom to share with. How to get over it. I know I smile daily, but that smile won’t mean anything. It is fake, a total fake. It only symbolises failure. But I smile again next day, in order to remind myself that there is still hope for you. This is not the end. So keep smiling.

What Is True LOVE

What is true love?I know lots of articles,views,stories,movies are written and made and then also we have different views about this magic word LOVE.So here I am among one of u writing about my view point of love.And the experience I gained is not from having true love in my life but watching movies and having the gift of some best frnds in my life who have experienced it.
When I see someone and if he is looking at me and this includes a passerby on road,I think he likes me.Every single guy till now I thought likes me.But I guess I always knew that noone of them likes me,but it makes me happy for that moment to think that may be he is the one.And here I am living my life in this illusion from last 24 years and the result is I am alone having no one near me to love me,to hold me,to share my thoughts with me.And here I am not trying to ignore the presence of family or friends but the place of that someone special is according to me can never be filled by anyone else in this whole world.
I know people say that having atleast one person who really care about you even though he or she is your family or friend,at time you are dying is worth living for.But what I think is everyone needs a person who can feel you,understand you,read your thoughts better than u do.A person who is not only worth living for but worth dying for too.A one who would do anything for u and u could do anything for him without having a second thought.I have thought a million times and a million situations for atleast tens of the ones I come across daily that how would we look together.How someone among of them propose to me.Every time I watch a movie I think someday this will be me standing there with my special someone.He will hold me tightly,look into my eyes deeply and say how beautiful I look even though I would be looking the worst in that dress.He who says how perfect I am for him and will always be.
I think these thoughts we all have,atleast I do.And most of us think this is how true love should be.And when we meet him it must be some magical,out of d world experience.A bell,sudden rain,something unexpected or weird would happen which will give us some kind of sign that he is the one for us.
But no I can assure you this wont be the case.There will be no signs,no music,no rain.no bell to tell u that he is your lucky guy,I know u all out there must already have someone in your life, a someone who really care about you and making every bit of effort he would to assure you that he will take care of you till the very end but its you only who keep on ignoring that person and keep searching for someone who may be wont even exist in this material world.
And I am able to tell you this from my personal experience as I have ignored all of them by just pointing out unnecessary and foolish things in them.But I want to just say that please don’t keep on waiting and wasting your life which you can make definitely better by just not be in some kind of illusion or living a false dream which will probably never come true and you end up iiving alone just like me.So please learn something from my experience and just make the most out of your life and with someone special who is just there in front of you and you never gave him a chance.
All The Best To All Of You.